No one: “Let’s motor our little aluminum Jon Boat over toward that swimming bear.”
Absolutely no one ever: “Let’s run by him again.”
This fucking guy:
I don’t know where this video was shot, only that it was posted very recently. The background feels coastal, the water looks glacial, and the bruin’s head is as big as the boat motor, so it could be Canada or Alaska just as easily as it could be someplace in Russia.
Regardless, pointing your boat anywhere near the general vicinity of a bear in the water is about as advisable as wandering out into a field to snap a selfie with a one-ton bison for the Gram — meaning don’t do it. Whoever is driving this boat made a stunningly stupid move; so many things could have gone wrong, any of which would certainly have made for a much more interesting and intense ending to the video.
Notice the other genius occupant of this vessel standing and holding his cell phone out, just begging to fall overboard. It boggles the mind.
Shit, just listen to that growl!
I know I’ll likely go to hell for saying this, but when I first watched this video, I was rooting so hard for that bear to lay a big-ass paw on the transom and re-enact the ending of Jaws when the shark finally gets some Quint stuck between his teeth.
For the record, brown bears can swim up to 6 miles per hour and are just as capable of killing you in the water as they are on land. The average human can hit 3 mph, tops. So unless you’re Michael Phelps, who actually can swim 6 mph, there’s no out-kicking a bear in the water and there’s no glory in stupidity, folks.
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